Ramblings of a Missing Mind

Bliss

2012-01-15T04:20:00.001+08:00

iPad fail

2011-10-22T13:47:00.001+08:00

My iPad has given me the finger.

SIM card decided to kick d bucket when i needed 3G d most.

Thought it was just a minor defect with my old cut-out microSIM n got it exchanged at Celcom for rm5 but hey whathyaknow it's not friggin working still....

Working diagnosis: acute sim receptor failure secondary to chronic steve jobs incompetency with underlying rotten apple syndrome

Seems like d last option is to get it fixed at the retailer it came from.

Oh dang, warranty voided coz of jailbreaking.

Fml

I is tired

2011-10-19T00:31:00.001+08:00

Spent 14 hours in hosp today. NOT oncall. Meaning, no overtime claim :(

Slave labor is wat its called. Arpatheid reborn in d hosp setting.

Now now i know for a fact there are quite a few hosps out there who matter-of-factly practice 14 hr working days and yes, i knw i sound like a girl but with all due respect i dont givashit.

Im genetically hardwired to only eat, sleep and take long dumps after 5 and anything dat disturbs said routine is considered sacrilage in my book.

See? Now ive missed my toilet appointment. Its gona b a really constipated night literally.

I is tired. Whatahell m i stil doin ere?

Zzzzz

Random

2011-10-16T02:11:00.001+08:00

Random-ness.

Saja-ness.

Suka2-ness.

Insomnia-ness.

Jobless-ness.

Back for good

2011-10-16T01:30:00.001+08:00

So there's a dedicated app for blogger on iOS afterall.

No wonder d online version was such a fuggerlicious pain in d ass to use on d ipad.

And painful enough it was to keep me fr posting any entries for d past 4 mnths. Hell, ppl could hv thought im dead or sumthing.

Anyways, minor setback aside.

Elo again, world.

Lo n behold....

2011-06-07T23:15:00.001+08:00

Gosh this painful.

So the ipad2 does not support wateva format blogger runs on I guess....

So much for an inaugural post fr my spanking new man-pad for now.

And yes girls, now dat I've been here n done that, using a pad really does suck dick. Big time.

Xxxx

Gosh this really is painful I kid u not.

There's no way I'm gona b able to come up wif even a half decent entry at this rate.

Not like it makes a diffenrence anyway huh.

Xxxxxx

Anyways, elo folks.

It's nice to b back.

Life has been great , there's so much I wanna share but damnit this is really pissin me off so...

Till next time I guess.

Take care...

Xxxxxx

Seremban

2011-04-10T17:29:00.001+08:00

Checked in to seremban.....

day 1 of life as a serembanian.

so far so good....

thank god for no longer needing to commute daily to n fro fr kajang......gonna miss d scenery along LEKAS though.

Jusco n Tesco just a stone throw's away so unlikely will die of starvation.

now, all i need is the mood to continue studying....zzzzzz.......

Gd bye Kajang....

2011-03-30T23:46:00.002+08:00

Gd bye kajang.

thanx for everything.

thanx for 2 yrs of laughter n tears...

thanx for all d ups n downs..

thanx for bringing the best n worst out of me...

thanx for bringing the best n worst into me...

thanx for bringing the best n worst to me.

thanx for metropoint karaoke n bowling

thanx for 7wonders butter chicken rice

thanx for ayza's 3am maggi goreng

thanx for MZ's nasi goreng special yg tak tau ape special sangat

thanx for sg chua lat tong

thanx for sg chua lut lut

thanx for sg chua snatch thieves

thanx for sg chua pirated vcd

thanx for kjg prima badminton

thanx for kjg prima windmill

thanx for kjg prima 6am har mee

thanx for kjg prima beach cafe

thanx for 2020

thanx for happy happy

thanx for dachong or watever its called now

thanx for drive thru kfc

thanx for hospital kjg

thanx for EOD calls

thanx for peaceful nights

thanx for jonah days

thanx for mortalities

thanx for morbidities

thanx for casualties

thanx for fatalities

thanx for opportunities

thanx for possibilities

thanx for letting up

thanx for letting out

thanx for letting go

thanx

gd bye.

Happy Valentine's.....to you

2011-02-16T02:37:00.004+08:00

And I will take you

in my arms

and hold you tight

where you belong

Till the day our life is through

Yes I promise you

Every word I say is true

Yes I promise you....

Happy Valentine's Day......

2011-02-14T00:04:00.003+08:00

:)

tektektekktektektektketketkektektek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

Happy CNY!!

2011-02-06T23:08:00.000+08:00

Happy CNY 2011~~~~!!!!!

Definitely one of the best CNYs ever.

Lookin forward to many more to come...

:)

I heart homemade chilli pan mee !!

2011-01-31T01:06:00.002+08:00

Lazy to drive all the way to KinKin chilli pan mee and get a full dose of attitude up yours?

Well then get off that coach n make urself ur own homebrew chilli pan mee!!

Did this last week n it tasted the bomb!! better than Kinkin i dare u man!

oh wait, never actually tried Kinkin before thou. wtf

No jokin man this is THE besttest meanest chilli panmee ever!!!

muahahaahahahah *satisfaczionez*

anybody wana learn can p/s me ya hehe lansi........

:(

2011-01-26T00:29:00.002+08:00

there is something very wrong about staring at a blank screen, fingers on the keyboard yet being totally unable to produce a single decent sentence at all.

now take that and times three.

wonder if there is a term for whatever condition this is.

feel like just dropping everything off and disappearing for a sec.

in to the greens.

in to the blue.

into the dark.

:(

2011-01-06T00:29:00.002+08:00

i don't read enough.

:(

missing the years going by.

:(

if i had a choice, i'd probably do it again.

or maybe not.

don't know, don't wana know.

i seriously don't read enough.

:(

Happy New Year.....

2010-12-31T15:29:00.003+08:00

Last day of the year......

was a good year with enough ups n downs to fill an entire 4 season long soap opera.

Won some, lost some.

Found some. And then more.

Although sadly

the only constant thing in life is change....

may there be change for the better.

Happy new year 2011....

* depending on how emo i decide to b next year i might end up writing yet another super long-winded lack-of-attention post cue d one from last year.

We'll see.

See you on d other side, You.

New Toy from the Junkyard

2010-12-12T17:13:00.002+08:00

Found a rough gem at the Amcorp Mall weekend flea market.

Olympus 35ED

The Zuiko 38mm f2.8 was pretty good during it's days so they say.

Look up in Wikipedia for more info.

The batteries are missing though and nothing on the current market fits - gona hav to work on some makeshift batteries from hearing aids to power this baby up.

For now, it'll serve as a pretty reminder of a bygone era where every shot counts....

Google translate: Domestic violence unveiled

2010-11-24T14:48:00.008+08:00

Came across this on a cooking blog:

for those not well versed in Mandarin, the first user commented sumthing in the lines of ' smell's good, remember when i was young, our family used to cook this dish with tofu and pepper.' Something like dat. Nothing special there. I mean, we Asians put tofu n pepper into everything. Even into our women (in Japan).

But! but but but...

Thanx to Google translate, something far more sinister was revealed.

This was by no means no ordinary comment.

There is some seriously sick shit going down in this house.

Someone call social service, coz people are going down in flames (literally) here!

Moral of the story

2010-11-24T00:38:00.006+08:00

(hands a single chopstick to son)

dad: son, today i wana talk to you bout this thing called Unity. here, break this.

(son snaps chopstick into two with ease)

son: no sweats man.

(hands a bunch of ~20 chopsticks to son)

dad: now try this.

*crack* (son snaps the bunch of chopsticks in a single, swift twitch)

son: that was nothing, man.

(shoves son a 10-inch thick tree trunk)

dad: ......now let's see what you've got, punk.

*whackapasmash* (son pulverizes tree trunk into smitterins with a mean, clean karate chop)

son: what next, old man? this is boring.

dad: T_T |||

Moral of the story:

Don't bring up your kids too healthy. Try playing Mr. Miyagi later and they will end up kicking ur ass.

Happy birthday, daddy

I Heart Maybank........NOT

2010-11-21T22:50:00.010+08:00

ARRGGG.

That's what I'm feeling now.

Maybank just f*cked up my credit card application. Again.

For the FOURTH time.

ARGGG.

*p/s i have never been to Tanjung Karang in my entire life. the relevance of this will be revealed later.

6 months ago i applied for a Visa Petronas whatchamacallit card coz, frankly, owning a piece of plastic i could really call 'my own' (and not one of those supplementary cards from daddy or mummy that makes me feel like i'm still weaning off breast milk :( ) was kinda like on the top of my to-do-when-im-no-longer-broke list.

And, and and...what can i say, in times like these where a guy is physically, emotionally and sexually rscrutinized based on the almighty 5C benchmark mercilessly set by the nefarious feminist bra burners at Cosmo and HerWorld, i definitely wouldn't want to be seen dead without atleast hitting one or two out of the big 5. I know, i know...blame it on MTV :( That being said, can't really remember what the 5Cs stand for anyway. Card, Cash, Car, Condo(?),.....COck? Hey, at least I've got one checked there.

So.

The smiling lady at the back of the desk went thru my application with relative ease, all the while having small chat bout my job, her job and how life in Malaysia totally sucks as a whole. Yeah, and i managed to squeeze in an impromptu lecture on hypertension too, free of charge damnit. Forms signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours!! Basically that was it - paper work done, wait a few weeks and the good people at Maybank will get back to me when my shiny little piece of plastic gets delivered fresh from the oven to the respective branch. Piece of cake, you say.

Wrong.

Oh no, no sire, not so easy.....muahaha que evil laugh ala Dr Evil...

3 months and a million seconds later, with no news from the bank whatsoever, i decided to pay a friendly visit to Maybank to, you know, say hi. And find out what the fuck went down with my application. So.

me: helo kak...nak check aplikasi credit kad...

LMS(lady maybank staff): ok dik (seriously!)....jap ye...dik apply biler?

me: dah lamer le... (haha now i get it how pts answer to our questions "dah berapa lama sakit?" with "dah lamer la doctor...." haha lame)

LMS: er dik...takde la dalam rekod...

me: O_o

So yah. That was it. two months later and i was told there was no record of an application. Marvellous.

Weeelll. That was a setback. But, being the good-natured cowardly prick that i am, politely i requested for a second application coz damn it i need my plastic badly god knows how..and politely i asked them to please pretty please make it a good one this time. LMS gave me her word that things will be ok this time round and i'll get my baby in no time. Just, well, wait for their call. GULP.

2 more months passed by. Trees changed from green to a dusky brown. Nights became shorter as the sun rose earlier by the minute. Michael Jackson still did not rise from the grave as many have hoped.

Finally one faithful day i got a call from the bank. Your card's ready, sir. YES OH YES like, finally! Took the noon off and drove straight to the said branch. Sat at the counter, tremors of anticipation rippling thru me like a kid being let loose in the Playboy Mansion on his 18th birthday. LMS (different lady but same duty) brought out a crisp, white envelope. Cursive writings decorated its face, depicting something so effing important i couldnt effing understand what it was saying. Then i caught a glimpse of what's inside.

No. Fucking. Way.

Amex??!!??

Damn it man. Do i look like an amex kind of guy? Oi, who the hell takes Amex in this part of the world, lah? And seriously, how oh how in hell did a Maybank card application end up with an Amex card in the postbox?? It's like putting a Christmas turkey into the oven and opening it later to find Char Siew. Or in this case, downloading Skandal Melayu porn and ending up with Debbie Does Dallas. Cheated. To the max.

LMS was equally surprised judging by the way her mouth was hanging at what can only be described as a very obscene position. There must have been a mistake, she apologised. Well, you're not the only one who thinks so! Without wasting time she offered to void the Amex and, whatyaknow, help me reapply (que: 3rd time) for my card of choice.

You see, personally i have nothing against Amex, it's flashy and glamourous and it has a little trojan on it - what's there not to like? Just that somehow it seems to me that majority of local merchants favor most cards before Amex and damn man look at me, if i were to flash an Amex at you chances are nine out of ten people are gona think in the lines of ' dudes still feeding off daddy/ dudes banging some rich old hag/ dudes selling his ass' so for the sake of social survival i had to had to turn it down bleekk.

So. 3rd application signed, sealed, delivered. My ass is yours now. LMS ensured me the process will take a maximum of '2 to 3 weeks' and they will, like usual, get back to me ASAP.

A month passed by. Surprise surprise, no news from the bank. I even kinda forgot bout it myself, what being hopeless and all that. Michael Jackson was still rotting in the dirt.

Then one day at work, this dude from another dept whom i was sharing an elevator with suddenly came over and with a secretive tone blurted out "bro....tadi aku pgi bank...staff bank kata ko punyer credit kad dah siap...diaorg minta bagitau boleh kolek dah...." ya i was freaked out i kid you not but hey, finally! news bout my long lost love! Though such news coming from an outsider did seem a little weird but hey what the hell i decided to give it a go and pay the bank another visit, hopefully my last one for this reason god forbid :(

At the bank.

Me: elo....nak check status kad kredit applikasi.....dah manyak kali dah...

Male Maybank staff (MMS): kredit kad......hmmm....(long pause, leaves desk to look high and low, finally to return with a defeated expression).....tak de la encik!

Me: -_-|||......biar betul......(deep exhalation, mantra chanting to curb the impending MI)

MMS: betul takde...cik apply biler ye? sape yg bagi tau dah siap?

Me: dah apply ribu kali dah....fren aku bagi tau...staff suruh passover kat aku suruh dtg kolek..

and that's where the drama started.

MMS: STAFF SURUH FREN BAGI TAU??? Impossible! Ini against bank policy! Absolutely tak mungkin! Siapa fren kau? Bawa dia datang. Ini tak mungkin. Ini kita boleh SUE dia sebab dia destroy our bank's REPUTASI!!!

OMFG NO FUCKING WAY.

Now my colleague's the bad guy.

Seriously. Destroy bank's reputasi?? Dude, your bank fucked up my application thrice, you wanna talk bout reputasi? Let alone, putting the blame on someone else for your own inadequacy? Unbelievable. I nearby, just nearly blew it.

LMS came by to check on us, apparently she could sense that someones was gona get hurt soon. Oh, oh oh oh .....so it was you, my dear LMS, it was you who told my colleague, eh?? Oh wait, what? Oh, you didn't tell him to tell me to come collect my card, oh no? Oh wait, you told HIM to tell ME to come and REAPPLY for the FOURTH time coz, wonder of wonders, my last application GOT LOST. AGAIN. and my poor deaf idiot of a colleague apparently misheard the whole thing.

Again, the good-natured, cowardly prick side of me decided to deal with things in a more ball-less way, and i asked to speak to the senior staff at the central office in-charge to clarify the situation.

Senior Maybank Staff (SMS): ya cik can i help? (superbly polite i must say)

Me: kad i hilang kena makan pontianak wuuuhhh T_T (i did tell him the whole story later)

SMS ran thru a few checks on his comp, this and that.

SMS: cik...dalam data kite...applikasi cik 6 bulan lepas ada dlm rekod.....kad pun dah despatch dah...tak terima ke..??

Me: nop....

SMS: ade cik...kad dah hantar dekat branch dah.....dekat Tanjung Karang kan?

Me: ............................!!???!?!?#Me: ............................!!???!?!?#Me: ............................!!???!?!?#Me: ............................!!???!?!?#$&%&#!????
amp;%&#!????
amp;%&#!????

Tanjung Karang. No shit.

SMS: lagi cik.....cik ade apply kad lagi baru baru ni ke....applikasi baru dapat....kena amik masa lagi la.....

ME: * faint*

Summary:

1st app : card sent to tanjung karang, gone with the wind
2nd app: morphed into Amex
3rd app: ? processing
4th app: i don't effing know anymore....

xxxxxxxxxxx

Gathering whatever little strength left i could muster, wearily told LMS and SMS that they can keep their promises and applications for themselves as i am never, ever going to trust them again, as a matter of fact i am never, ever gonna trust maybank with my money or my ass anymore coz frankly if this is the kind of standard of management that's going on here don't u think it's a bit unerving to leave all of your hard-earned moolah in their hands? They did offer for a reapplication (gasp) but i said no. No, thank you very much, for nothing. Nothing at all.

Maybank has financially castrated me. 6 months down the road and countless missed opportunities later i'm still the financial equivalent of a Ch'ng Dynasty eunuch. I can't order shit online, I can't go shopping without carrying a wallet that makes my ass look like JLo's, I can't book flights without calling mommy to 'loan' her card number. Heck, I can't even order porn.

Guess I'm stuck with just one C for now. I'm so gonna die a lonely old man :(

I'm beat.

Just shoot me.

Time to consider the GCS EON Visa card i guess.....

Happy Birthday to Bie....

2010-11-17T00:52:00.005+08:00

Go Shorty, it's your birthday.... :)

Happy Birthday Bie.....

Muaxxx!!

U're not short, just mini-sized btw :))

Project 肉燥饭

2010-10-31T18:26:00.001+08:00

please dont burn down the kitchen please dont burn down the kitchen please dont burn dont the kitchen please dont burn down the kitchen please dont burn down the kitchen please dont burn down the kitchen please dont burn down the kitchen please dont burn down the kitchen please dont burn down the kitchen please dont burn down the kitchen........

Back to reality

2010-10-25T01:22:00.002+08:00

I'm back.

Wish I'm not though.

Larger than Life

2010-10-16T01:17:00.003+08:00

Lonely.

Bie is hundreds of km away having polo buns n stocking tea. T_T

What to do. hmmmm...

So I made a new friend.

Say hi to Bugger the buggered bug.

This is Bugger in real life.

Not that large huh.

But he's really larger than life.

Wait till u know him better.

Bie...

2010-10-07T01:05:00.001+08:00

我很容易养的。。。

只要少少空间

少少米

多多爱

就够了。。。

The New, the Old, the Forgotten

2010-10-03T14:12:00.002+08:00

Camera porn

2010-09-25T20:37:00.002+08:00

New admission.

C/o chest pain. k/c IHD.

The key point.

Social history: Professional photography Guru.

Weapon of choice: Leica S2

Price: RM93,000 (body only)

Ouch.

This, my friend, is the stuff of dreams. Very, very wet dreams.

Must be a bitch getting paid to do what you love to for a living.

It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Damn.

The Hole in my Ass 3D

2010-09-25T12:01:00.005+08:00

Movie night.

The plan was to grab some bite, then maybe do some walking n splurging around KL i don't know.

Anyway, dinner was great but took up the better half of the night so ended up running late for shopping. So instead, headed to KLCC for whatever walk walk we could muster before closeshop hour.

Decided to catch a movie instead. Just watched Legend of the Fist day ago, good but not great must say. Although Donnie Yen does look absolutely honest-to-gaynest good for a 40 something. No I don't fantasize over elderly men, thank you.

Back to the movie.

So apparently there were only two movies available last night. On one corner, M. Night Shyamalan's 'Devil'. Given Mr Night's recent track record, i really wasn't up for another ' I-see-Unbreakable-dead-people-in the Village-showing the Happening Lady in the Water the Sign' moment anytime soon. So pass.

On the other corner, we have.......Le Hole.

Directed by the same guy who did 'Gremlins', 'Small Soldiers' and some other forgettable stuff, it was filmed in 2009 with a stellar cast of nobodies, and was one of the first films to be shot in full 3D glory alongside 'Up' and other 3D whatchamacallit.

So yeah, le hole. A movie about 2 kids n the quintessential hot neighbour finding a hole in their new suburb home's basement which unleashes nightmares on whoever stares into it.

Well, what would you do if you found a pitch black, bottomless, super eerie hole in your basement which opens up by itself and has broken little girls crawling in and out of it right in front of your eyes?

Apparently in the US, you stick around and make smart-ass jokes about it, all the while not forgetting to fraternize with the hot neighbour who, like you, is too dumb to be worried about ghosts and what not. Oh wait, maybe it's some other hole that has caught your interest, i guess. Hmmm.

Very blase Japanese horror plot, siap dengan creepy-crawlie Japanese little girl ghouls, Yamete AV girls, a partridge and a pear tree.

Translates into : lousy acting, poor script writing and all in all, an absolutely shite excuse of a movie literally cumming at you in glorious 3D I kid u not.

Seriously, it was so bad, it was actually good.

I had a great time.

What am i so afraid of?

Of mistakenly spending rm26 on horseshit like this ever again. FML

Happy Burfday to Me....

2010-09-14T00:35:00.002+08:00

One year older.

Non the wiser.

Just plain simply happy with the way how things are now.

Wishing for many more such years to come.

Thank you.......

Blank

2010-09-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

Staring at the blank screen can be a rather therapeutic experience.......

From john, to jane

2010-08-28T14:02:00.005+08:00

There is something very wrong about giving time too much credit and letting a deep seating idea fester, blissfully ignorant the telltale signs of a looming crisis until the lid comes off and all that pent up emotions overflow like a floodgate giving way to a merciless avalanche of negativity. How it is that in such a brief period on such short notice we have each ourselves managed to come up with our very own little circle of unspoken thoughts is beyond my comprehension, and I plead guilty for being the ignorant one who shied away from the prospects of having to finally wake up from my sugar coated honeymoon slumber and smell the sour tinge of reality, to eventually find the sad strength to pick up all these broken pieces, shattered like a starburst twilight into a million fireflies, and resort to coming up with an inconvenient explanation of who/what/when/where/why/how it all went wrong in the first place.

Apologies don't do justice when there is no fault to begin with. Somehow along the way, time took it's course and backtracked on us; instead of exploring the future together hand in hand like how we intended to be, we found ourselves inevitably drawn to the gloomier aspects of our past and like every forbidden aspect of life, such it was the obsession to revisit that period of time lost in history like a voyeur peeking through the many shades of cover ups and half told white lies, that we let our guard down and allowed an idea to fester in our heads like a rabid virus carving it's destrcutive path in our consciousness.

An idea, seeded by those who shall not see us be, and nurtured by our own insecurities and misplaced trust in our own sense of self worth.

And as we succumb to ourselves, with each step forward being one further away from the truth that we once held so dear, all it took was time to take its course as everything started to fall into motion like a grand scheme coming into play and we, like chess pieces in the mercy of others, became so lost in the whirlpool of negative thoughts and self doubt that all we could see in the eye of the storm was how everything we once held dear was so rapidly falling apart, there was nothing we could really do.

I was losing you.

Losing you to the whims and lies of man.

Losing you to familiarity.

Losing you to time.

........

But it's alright now. I'm glad we opened our hearts and bared our souls. No more knitpicking. No more beating around the bush.

Wishing for blue skies with lush green meadows to run off together, hand in hand, without a care for the world....

Wishing for the emerald sea and infinite sunset that is our paradise....

Wishing for a wishing star...

Love the way you lie

2010-08-23T16:12:00.002+08:00

Don't know why but there's something bout this song.

Something....haunting.

Something.

Or maybe coz it's made that way, to be an effin hit WTF.

Anyway. Gotta love the last line.

Guess that's what love is after all.

Ramblings of a hypoglycemic mind

2010-08-19T02:09:00.006+08:00

Having a sudden gut wrenchingly insane craving for mushroom soup with salad by the side, preferably with some fresh succulent Norwegian salmon sashimi tossed in with a light dash of that whatever sauce that makes salad oh so yummy, but thank you a light dash would do coz horror of all horrors I've recently officially been condemed to hypercholestrolemics anonymous and am on a highly monitored apparently healthy diet to kick my ass back into its lean mean ol' self FML.

And then it hits me that at this particular hour in this particular place on earth during bulan Ramadhan no less where the way of life is to live to eat and by that meaning eat your guts crazy till yesterday's breakfast comes goofering out of every single orifice in your body both known and unknown to man, that any attempt for a so called 'healthy' supper is something one might as well call a joke, not withstanding the fact that according to the big O putting anything in your mouth after 7pm is downright blasphemous due to the fact that from 701pm onwards your body magically remodels its anatomy so as every single atom from that yummylicious cheeseburger that passes through your mouth shall end up straight at your ass. Every. Single. God Damn. Calorie. Speaking of, an average McD's double cheeseburger contains somewhere around 450kcals and 30gs of fat. Translates into roughly the weight of two Backstreet boys and enough moo-moo to feed a small African nation. Now how would you like that splattered all over your booty?

By the way, shoot me if you must but damn it I want a cheeseburger so much right now. Like, right now. It's pouring outside and my half asleep brain is fighting a losing battle trying to convince me to 'do the right thing!' and 'be a man!'....Russell Peters would be proud I'm sure.

Guess I'll just gulp down some Haier Fresh Air and hit the sack instead. After all it's just 4 hours away from daybreak....Hunger pangs can wait. I shall not succumb......my kung fu is strong.....

I miss you a lot, really a lot. You have no idea what I'll give to have you in my arms right now. Even in this current state of hunger-driven insanity, if it came down to you and a cheeseburger.......It'll still be you. Any and every time.

I know, this may not the most romantic thing to come out of a guy's mouth and this is certainly not the last word as far as mushy lyrical yada- yadas go....but please take it from me, when I say that you are the most precious thing in my life now....

No cheeseburger will ever, ever take your place in my heart, or my stomach I swear.

I love you very, very, very much.

And I'm still painfully hungry ouch FML.

I have no idea why I'm posting this pic coz all it does is fuel my gastric uprising speaking of which I'm currently that close to eating my shoes to curb this stupid hunger pang FML

Rain rain rain.....

2010-08-18T18:53:00.002+08:00

Waiting for the weather to clear up a tad bit before heading out again.

What a day.

Feeling sorry for the homeless cats and dogs caught in the shower. No one should be left out in the cold, not in a weather like that.

Wishing for an empty ward and a full stomach before going to bed tonight.

Revision.

At the rate of how crazy things are, I'd be damn glad just to be able to hit the bed at all.

On call on a rainy day sucks.

People of Kajang, please drive safely. Don't play with your food, don't choke on your ayam percik, and please oh god damn it please DO effing take your meds please.

I'm begging you. On all fours.

Here's hoping.

to John, from Jane

2010-08-17T23:57:00.003+08:00

Curiosity killed the cat.

Probably ran over it like a friggin steamroller, came down from the car to check if it was still twitching and yes, if it was, reversed for a second helping before zooming away in a cloud of smog.

Don't ask questions of which the answers you don't want to know.

Dig too deep and all you'd hit is dirt.

Don't dwell on the past.

Just know that, for now, at this very instance, it is you that matters the most.

Or at least, try your very best to convince yourself so.

Nothing else matters. Not for now, at least.

Where to where how........?

2010-08-16T22:09:00.003+08:00

Just called up the nice lady from KKM. Again.

For like, the tenth thousand time.

Letter has finally reached KKM. Dated 2/8/10.

That's a whole friggin 2 month and a few god damn days after completing my HOship.

Not even snailmail would take that long. Not if they hired a paraplegic drunken senile garden snail the size of a bacteria's turd to carrier my letter personally strapped to its shell to Putrajaya while all the way performing Shakira's Waka Waka backwards.

So yeah.

Letter signed, sealed, now finally delivered. I'm yours!! Like, finally?

All it takes now is for the board to sit down.

I can so imagine them folding my request form into a paper plane and then gleefully tossing it like a prepube school prick at a giant map of Malaysia seeing where it lands to determine where they'd be couriering my sorry ass to.

' Kalimantan!!' Fuck.

Oh wait. Abit too far South. Let's try again.

' Pontianak!' Ah........fuck 2.0.

Wait. Is Pontianak considered Malaysia?

I don't bloody know anymore. Never been a big fan of geography. Never been able to get Sabah and Sarawak right in terms of who's north and who's south. Er...wait. Who does Kinabalu belong to...?

I'm so gonna die if I get East Malaysia.

The only thing I'm familiar with across the South China Sea would be Kenny Sia.

And you know, it's a bad, bad sign if the only thing you're familiar with in a foreign land is a big hairy Cina man.

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

Keeping fingers cross, tied, knotted.

I don't wana leave.

I don't wana leave without you.

You know I can't do without you.

Damn it.

Here's hoping.

Ramblings of a cholesterol-laden mind

2010-08-15T00:32:00.002+08:00

Kinda sorta somehow just hit me that I'm always online doing nothing save staring at the screen staring back at me.

Hmmmm.

Not the most productive thing to do when the rest of the world is knee deep in financial turmoil, political unrest, domestic violence, expanding waistlines and shrinking paychecks.

Hmmmm.

By the way, the Salmon sashimi tonight was absolutely devilishly sinfully OMFGly yummylicious.

Again, not the wisest thing to do with a borderline high cholesterol level and 3 years ticking on the clock before I hit the big Three.

Oh well.

Hmmmm.

You only live once right. At least that's what they say. Also sorely depends on what you believe in as well I guess.

Some folks believe in life after death.

Some believe in turning to dust as you breathe your last breath.

Some believe in having nine lives to start with. Meow.

Some already are living in hell so it doesn't really matter where they go from here on anyway.

What's more, they say life starts at forty so what's the hurry?

Well, if by definition

Life = rickety aching joints + expanding waistline + shrinking manhood + tighter pants + looser double chin

then hell yeah life starts at forty and with an effing glorious bang it starts huh.

Hmmmm.

Oh well.

At least I did something today.

Not sure if mindless ramblings account as a mean of productive effort but WTF its my blog so I can do anything I want on it nyeh nyeh nyeh * toungue out waggling*

Not like anyone's gona come across this anyway.

Recap:

First and foremost, it is with a great sense of sincerity and regret I shall acknowledge to myself that this post may and most probably will be yet another self-indulgent psychotic neo-emo rant about nothing other than nothingness, and would again like so many before it be reserved solely for my own narcissistic reading pleasure on some stormy Friday night with just me, myself and I. And most probably with my laptop on and some porno rendition of The Wizard of oz playing in the background.

The only difference now is a porno rendition of Toy Story playing in the background instead. Wizard of Oz is sooo last century, Dah-ling.

Must be the Starbucks Mocha Frappuchino. Damn Imperialist coffee chains and their frigging ingredients making people go all wonky.

I need to sleep. Or at least pretend to pretend to do so. Before the boogieman in the closet gets tired waiting to pounce on me and falls asleep himself. The poor thing.

Good night.

Love you bie...

xoxoxo

Why I hate doing locum (even if the money's good)

2010-08-11T23:32:00.002+08:00

Case 1:

25 yr Chinese dude patient walks in. Sits down.

Pt: Doctor i have fever runny nose and cough. I think I have a cold. Give me the antibiotic in the glass bottle. Strong strong that one. Money no problem. And also the headache medicine. And the cough mixture. And the runny nose pills. Make sure give me the strong strong one ya. Make sure ya. The glass bottle wan ya. Strong wan ya.

Patient gets up. Walks out.

Me: .......your welcome...?

* glass bottle antibiotic = Azithromycin = damn overkill oral antibiotic. can kill an anything and everything (almost la). Totally useless in viral infections which is usually the case in runny nose and flu.

Case 2:

Daughter brings old frail Uncle in. Sits down.

Daughter: My dad sneezed trice from 230pm to 330pm. I think he has a cold.

Me: ............okay.........@#&$%*(#............

if only i had an MRI in d clinic.... then i can MRI his nose to see which stupid nose hair came off n choke his stupid nostril to make him sneeze oh so badly 3 times today......

Case 3:

25 yr Chinese fashion faux-pa ah lian walks in. Sits down.

Can't help not to notice how bad the outfit is put together.

Diagnosis: Congenital hypofashionsensenemia

What was her problem again?

Soree, can't remember. Was too busy checking out her train wreck of an outfit. Ooops.

erm.....food for thought.....don't try too hard....it's Sg Chua for god sake. No one's gonna blink if you were to step out in a chicken suit....

Case 4:

25 yr old Bangla 'gentleman' walks in. Yeah, that's the official term to use when addressing patients. I'm sure he's gentle in some way but no thanx I don't wana know.

Bangla: Boss! Ini tangan, manyak sakeet woh! Manyak manyak sakeet, itu kerje tak boleh kerje woh! Mau injection! Injection!

Me: ...........erm.....okee....i kasi injection kasi manyak kuat ya.......manyak sakit sikit ooh....okee yaa.......*evil grin*

I have no idea wat u wan. 50mg voltaren good enuf for u, sir? no? how bout some vit B12? hurts like an effin SOB weh. im sure dat wud do the trick....

Case 5:

27 yr blurhead overworked underpaid doctor walks in. Sits down.

Looks at watch. 5 more minutes to 9pm. Freedom beckons...

Looks at watch again. 4 more minutes.

Looks at watch again. 2 more minutes.

Looks at watch again. one minute.

Counter gal: loctor ar...got 3 patient come edi la.....

@#$*%&#$.............

Into the clouds....

2010-08-11T18:11:00.003+08:00

Run away.....

Into the clouds....

Oh yeah......

Run away....

2010-08-09T18:48:00.003+08:00

Run away....

Sun, sea, sand.......

Just you....

and me....

and a whole lot of Hoegaarden.... =)

Paradiso yay.......

Together....

2010-08-09T17:16:00.005+08:00

Starry, starry eyes

My heart, my soul
Hand in hand
together we'll grow old
Watching the sun
set into the unknown
and give a toast
to you I cherish the most
For your starry starry eyes
gazing into mine
you make me whole....

Feeling.....

2010-07-14T04:54:00.002+08:00

Lonely.....

and its all your fault.

Spoilt.

And proud to be so.

Few more days to go...

Dying for your sweet embrace......

Miss you biee.....

xoxo :)

Biebie Homemade Porridge Steamboat nyamnyam....

2010-07-03T02:26:00.007+08:00

Food porn #101....

What to do when 1) super sien to eat out 2) super hot to eat out 3) super no idea what to eat out?

DIY steamboat at home yeay...!

Porridge steamboat summore no less.......( although actually curi tulang using maggi instant porridge bleeek)

Hungeerree slobberrr slurrp smaackss........

super damn kao alot of mammam......

koniyaku vermicilli dunnowat ham thingy.....

momma always said...eat your greens....

boiling.......

gaodim....mammam time.....hot hot.....nyamnyam.....

eat my bie toufu..... :)

yumyum homemade porridge streamboat :)

Thanx bie.......

muaxmuaxmuaxmuaxmuax......!!

*Burp*

Believing....

2010-06-27T00:25:00.002+08:00

Believing in.......simplicity......

Getting there......

Everything's gonna be okay.

I promise.

Thank you...

2010-06-09T01:14:00.004+08:00

Life is good....

No.

Life is great!

No need for ramblings anymore.

So there.

Thank you.

And you and you and you.

It's been a blast.

Rambling

2010-06-03T00:47:00.002+08:00

Accusations.

Accusations.

More accusations.

Tired.

Don't know.

Don't wana know.

Not interested.

Don't care.

Get out of my life.

I'm happy and I intend to stay that way, thank you very much.

Stary, stary eyes....

2010-06-03T00:39:00.002+08:00

Starry, starry eyes

Hazel brown

mesmerizing like a

Merry-go-around

just one gaze

my soul goes lost unfound

I can feel your whisper

but I can't hear a sound

Starry, starry eyes

Luscious lips perfect smile

just one kiss

and I surrender right now

take me into you

and let me taste your style

if what you seek is paradise

I'm the one to show you how

Starry, starry eyes

Ravishing lines dangerous form

I try not to stare

but my heart says go on

all but a glance

and my values begone

consuming my dreams

so vivid , and beyond

Starry, starry eyes

Caring touch with a heart of gold

Salvation personified

with her wings unfold

I think God must have

loss count of his angels

because one of them

He left on our world

to light up my life

with your brilliance and glow

Starry, starry eyes

My love, my soul

hand in hand

together we'll grow old

watching the sun

set into the unknown

and give a toast

to you, I cherish most

for your Starry starry eyes

Gazing into mine

you make me whole....

Bie.....

2010-05-30T10:54:00.001+08:00

Life is good!!!

Thank u bie.....

I love you....!!

Bie....

2010-05-26T09:46:00.003+08:00

Bie....

I know

No one said it's gonna be easy....

and I know things can get a little overwhelming at times....

Please

Don't lose faith in us.

I'll make it up to you, I promise.

I love you.

Rambling

2010-05-25T20:53:00.002+08:00

A phone call was all it took to wreak havoc on my life.

Good one.

I'm no longer interested in your tall tales, by the way.

Leave.

Just.

I'm happy and I intend to stay that way, thank you very much.

Rambling

2010-05-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

you win.

hope you're happy now.

Closure

2010-05-22T18:31:00.002+08:00

I know what I have.

I know what I want.

I know what I need.

I know

things will be better.

They already are.

I'm happy for you.

And you.

Rambling

2010-05-20T01:26:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry....

Wish you well.

Time to find my way now......

Rambling

2010-05-19T18:57:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry....

Rambling

2010-05-18T20:32:00.003+08:00

A cup half full is better than a cup half empty is better than a cup full of air is better than a cup empty of thought is better than a cup not meant to be a cup at all.

Feeling more like a vase today...one desperately pretending to be a cup instead.

There is, was, and will never be any cup.

Just a pathetic broken vase filled with tears.

That's why the flowers never bloom in it....

Rambling

2010-05-13T11:03:00.002+08:00

Feeling 50% today.

A cup half full is better than a cup half empty is better than a cup full of air is better than a cup empty of thought is better than a cup shattered into fragments of dismay.....

There is no cup today.

There never was.

Whataya want from me!?

2010-05-13T03:07:00.002+08:00

You took away what I had.

Now you're taking away what I want.

Along with it you took away what I need.

Why.

What have I done?

Whataya want from me!!?!??!

Rambling

2010-05-10T16:09:00.002+08:00

A cup half full is better than a cup half empty is better than a cup filled with air is better than a cup empty of thought.

There is no cup today.

Goodbye

2010-05-07T18:22:00.001+08:00

Good bye.

Thanx for everything.

I'm sorry.

Rambling

2010-05-04T00:31:00.003+08:00

That wasn't very nice.

That wasn't very wise.

As a matter of fact, it was outright dumb.

A real lapse in judgment.

What were you even expecting out of it?

Pull back!

Hold your horses Joe.

Listen to your heart.

Don't take the dive.

The water's too deep out there.

You've been out of the water long enough.

You'd never find your way back.

Stay where you are.

You know you want to.

Don't it always seem to go

That you don't know what you've got

till it's gone

Leave me alone....

2010-05-02T17:04:00.002+08:00

I've cleaned out the closet.

I've burried the hachet.

Broke down, broke through, broke even.

Came to my senses.

Came to terms.

And yet.

Leave me alone.

Just.

You win.

I'm done.

COLD!........

2010-04-26T19:43:00.004+08:00

Friggin cold aircon at Starbucks Leisure Mall Cheras.

Getting peripheral cyanosis with CRT~2secs.

Certain body parts shriveling to the point of nearly disappearing completely.

No fever, god forbid.

Gonna take a last swig of mocha frapuchino n get the hell outa here.

The irony of it

praying for aircon at work everyday but running away from it now.

Too much of something is never a good thing I guess.

Hmmm....

Brrrrrrrrrrrr.

Hollowmaniac

2010-04-25T21:53:00.005+08:00

Weight loss.

Not associated with night sweats/ loss of appetite.

No chronic cough/ hemoptysis.

No funny lumps/ bumps popping up out of no where.

Checked email account.

No accidental signing up to MarrieFrance/ Busybody/ Yunnan.

Eh salah.

Maybe Yunnan. But that's a different story.

Hmmm.

Dissapearing soon.

It's ok.

No one would notice anyway.

*Hollowmaniacal laugh*

Frust.....

2010-04-21T22:44:00.003+08:00

Changing wards tomorrow.

Gonna be HOMO till god-knows-when.

Welcome to the realm of sweaty, stinky, hi-sugar-low-BP pigs ala men.

Sigh.

Feeling like a million Rupiah now.

I'm not good with change.

Frust....

Content.....

2010-04-18T20:32:00.001+08:00

Yum yum.

Home cooked food still da best.

Zzzz.......

2010-04-17T02:34:00.001+08:00

Still up at 2:34am.

Sigh.

Feeling empty inside out.

Why bother posting anything.

Not like anyone's gonna notice anyway anyhow wtf.

Good night.

n

Confused. Senseless

2010-04-16T21:25:00.005+08:00

Feeling a little confused today.

Maybe it's the 7 hour noon nap.

Maybe it's the weather.

Maybe it's just me.

Post call day one, 1st tag MO call in my life.

Should have been one of those days one would usually notch down as a historical landmark on their life journey, celebrating the long-awaited freedom from the shackles of housemanship and a heartfelt bye-bye to non-stop bloodtaking, history clerking and PR butt-plugging.

Was anticipating celebrating this life-changing event with lots of makaning, partying and whistle blowing complete with a candle blowing ceremony, a partridge and a pear tree.

As of now, 10 hours from being post call, I'm sitting in front of my laptop, alone in my room, with nothing but the humming of the aircon in my company. No makaning, no partying, no whistle blowing and definitely no candle blowing. No pear tree in sight either.

Feeling a little useless now.

Didn't function much as an MO during on call; merely reviewed a few patients who obviously needed admission and would have done better by being sent straight to the ward than waiting for me for a much-unnecessary reassessment. The senior MO oncall did most of the work anyway, rocketting to and fro between the blood bank and the ICU to get blood for a dengue PPH lady who was bleeding buckets post labour. All the while carrying a bun in the oven no less. Sigh.

Obviously didn't function much as a HO either. Forgot to bring along clerking sheets to the ED while reviewing patients. Resulting in the already lethargic-dehydrated-warning signs kao-kao patient having to re-enumerate how many times she has had massive diarrhea again and again and yet again in the ward. Aiyak.

Aiyako was adamant that I do not take part in the blood taking ceremony at 12am. 'Go lie down, get some rest, whatever,'........ starting to feel a little old. And a whole lot useless. Always have this thought that a few more years down the road I'll get all the lying down I'll ever need so.....yeah starting to have weird thoughts again. Feeling a little left out. Miss scaring the living daylight out of patients at 12am with syringe in one hand, glove in the other, complete with Joker grin and ' Elo selamat pagi sorree cucuk sikit yer'. Miss trying to beat the deadline of sending in bloods before 1 am to comply to the 'FBC 12am' mark.

Miss being part of the team.

Miss being functional.

Belle tried to put things in perspective. Said something about how as an MO I deserved to be treated in a certain 'manner and respect'. Something about how Tricho's 'dignity' was 'compromised' because he was too comfortable hanging around us and thus leading to him being shunned and marginalized by the rest of the MOs. Couldn't find myself to agree to such logic but I do get your point Belle. Although still infinitely saddened by the fact that how such a slight change in title has such ramifications in terms of how we should get along with each other. We're friends first, then colleagues, then only whatever HO-MO........if it even matters. Then again, not really sure if I've actually got the 5 cents to deserve any special form of 'manner and respect' at all.

I'm not masochistic.

I just want to feel useful. That me being there serves a purpose, any purpose that may be.

I just want to be dependable, I guess.

And I'm not feeling that now.

The world is going on without me. The world can go on without me.

The world will go on without me.

I guess being needed gives me a sense of existence. And being wanted gives me a sense of hope.

Like how it feels when you cut yourself, and the surge of pain reminds that you're still alive.

Branulas, FBC QIDs, the works. You keep me alive and remind me of who I am.

Now I'm not so sure anymore.

Not the happiest person on the planet now.

Not even sure why.

I guess I'm not good with change.

I always say,

Is change in love a virtue

or love for change a vice?

Something like that, more or less.

Maybe it's true.

Maybe it's just me being senseless.

Or maybe it's just the weather.

Like how the great philosopher Jagger puts it,

You can't always get what you want.....but if you try sometime, you might find - you get what you need....

HOMO sapien

2010-04-14T20:45:00.005+08:00

Post call.

Last HO call ever, god forbid.

Stepping into quasi-MOhood tomorrow.

Entering the transitional phase of being a HO-MO Sapien.

I guess I should feel.....excited.

Elated, probably.

Or at least the slightest sense of relief; relieved that it's finally over.

That the days of FBC QIDs and RP LFT PTAPTT ROTFLMAOQWERTY are finally behind me.

And hello to weekend offs, post call half-day offs, so on and so forth.

Strangely,

I feel nothing.

Or should I say

Not surprisingly at all.

Not the slightest sense of woohoo-ness running through my body now.

Nothing much to look forward to.

Taggings gonna be a pain knowing that my presence is more of a compromise in view of the ongoing human resource crisis instead of an actual interest in making me part of the team.

Heck, then again it's not as if I made any initiative to be part of the team to begin with at all.

So there.....two parties antagonizing each other but brought together due to circumstance sake.

I foresee......chaos.

Looking back, all those sleepless nights of FBC QIDs and RP LFT PTAPTTs somehow don't seem that bad after all.

At least I'm doing what I consider myself 'good' at.....ok lah, 'ok' at....

Sigh. Good bye joblist. Good bye insane FBCs. Good bye Blood C&S, ABG, PR.

Uh, hello femoral catheter, CVP short line, BMAT........*shudder*

The 'JobList'. Secure with your life as it determines your survival for the night

Have you really ever loved a woman?

2010-04-12T01:36:00.003+08:00

Came across an interesting post from an interesting blog by an interesting person ( just so to make it rhyme; 'weird' kinda better describes this person wek).

Anyway thought I'd put myself through it and see how bizarre things can get. Yeah I'm that jobless right now being postcall and refusing to tuck in someone please shoot me with a tranquilizer wtf.

1. Put your entire music library on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag some people.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
The Unforgiven (Metallica)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Something About The Way You Look Tonight (Elton John)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Wild World (Mr. Big) ....... I like 'em wild grrrrll

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
The Dope Show (Marilyn Manson) hehehe.......

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Beautiful ones (Suede)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Rockstar (Nickelback) .......Rockstar baby!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Somewhere, Somehow (Wet Wet Wet) ........cos I'm always blur I guess

WHAT IS 2+2?
Nobody (Wondergirls) ........wtf

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
You Make Me Feel.... (Texas) ..............NO. NO effin way man

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hero (Nickelback) .........coz your my rock, my safe harbour, my hero

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
What's up (Four Non Blondes) ........haha yet another evidence my life is a blurrr....

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Starlight (Muse)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
You Yi Dian Dong Xing (Carina lau & Jeff Zhang) .........how apt!!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Smack Ma Bitch Up (Prodigy) ........... -_-"

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
You Can't Always Get What You Want (Rolling Stones) NO NO NO NO NOO.....!!! NO!!!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Thank You (Alanis Morissette) .......really? sniff*

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
The End Is The Beginning Is The End (Smashing Pumpkins)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Sometimes When We Touch (Dan Hill) ........me likey touchy feely :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Perfect (Smashing Pumpkins) .......you see you see friend like me where to find siao ah!

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Matsuri (Kitaro) ...........to die against such a magnificent melody...ok la

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
She's In Fashion (Suede) .............?

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Dead And Gone (Justin Timberlake feat T.I.) .......wei wei wei............

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Bei Pan 'Betrayal' (Gary Cao) ...........as true as truth can be

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Salvation (Cranberries)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
1979 (Smashing Pumpkins)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Have You Really Ever Loved A Woman (Bryan Adams) ........this is gonna be so misleading

OSIM!

2010-04-12T01:18:00.003+08:00

I know I'm sooo going to regret doing this come tomorrow morning when I'm all groggy and puffy and dreading to get out of bed feeling like a zombie roti from hell that has been soaked in susu one minute too long wtf but then what the heck.

Stubbornly clinging on to the night not wanting to let Sunday pass.

Coming down with a severe case of Pinkpau's OSIM* blues.

Out of yogurt.

Out of anything that can possibly put my mind at ease.

Seriously contemplating coming up with a masterplan to swindle patient bed no. 42's private stash of methadone for some happy happy time tomorrow. God knows how much I need to let out bleerrgh.

Anyway.

Reality bites.

Gonna need to tuck in like it or not.

Monday beckons, lotsa new Makciks to review, branulas to replace and dietitians to refer.

Like I said, OSIM T___T

*OSIM = Oh Shit It's Monday

Tired 2.0

2010-04-09T20:27:00.006+08:00

Feeling exceptionally tired for the past few days.

Even going to bed at the (relatively) early hour of 12am still not being able to curb the sandman's calling.

Wondering where all those hours of sleep went.

If this is the case, well might as well not sleep at all. Especially when after 6 hours of rest I still feel groggy and puffed up like a slab of zombie roti that has spent a minute too long in susu wtf.

Make that a zombie roti with serious bedhead issues. Talk about covering those bedhead bald patches up KNNBCCB :(

At any rate, sleep is overrated.

Physiologically speaking, the human body runs on energy, of which food is used as fuel to keep the Krebs cycle running to produce NADH and the whole mitochondria-golgi apparatus shebang whatnot doing what they do.

So.

Theoretically,

Food = energy

energy = not tired

not tired = duneed sleep

Hmm.

Somehow somewhere something must have gone wrong. Must be something mom ate 27 years ago.

For me

Food + more food + sleep + more sleep + even more food = still tired wtf

See.

Eyes getting heavy.

Weary thinking bout work tomorrow.

Praying for a sweet peaceful oncall with no admissions, no low GMs, no low BPs and everybody's GSC at an all time 15/15 high with Hindi music playing in the background, rainbows streaking across the sky, flowers blossoming in full splendor and Selvarani playing hide-and-seek behind a banana tree.

Yaaawn~

Oh shheetz.

HOT

2010-04-08T21:51:00.003+08:00

HOT HOT HOT.

Feeling as if I'm catching fire down there.

Already trying to position myself as far as possible from the earth's core but somehow all that heat from all that magma boiling deep down inside momma earth's bosom just seems to be reaching straight for me arse.

Already flipping my butt pillow at 3.256 minute intervals like some ikan bakar sifu flipping his tenggiris.

Nothing seems to work.

Seriously considering getting a pack of ice cubes from 7 eleven to sit on. But then scared of balls frostbite necrosis.

Heellpp~~

Matsuri

2010-04-08T20:19:00.003+08:00

Had been looking for this song by Kitaro for sooo long.

Finally.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGtKxbu7vLI&feature=related

Awesome, breathtaking stuff.

He does look abit Psy though.

Guess all geniuses are eccentric (and wonky) in their own genial right.

Tired

2010-04-07T23:55:00.003+08:00

Tired of work.

Tired of life.

Tired of having nothing to look forward to.

Tired of chasing the unattainable.

Tired of running from the inevitable.

Tired of complaining.

Tired of listening to others complaint.

Tired of being responsible.

Tired of being accountable.

Tired of being dependable.

Tired of being tired.

Tired of being me.

Tired of this post.

n

Burp*

2010-04-07T00:09:00.002+08:00

Hungry.

Went out for Nasi goreng Pattaya at some random food court.

Full.

Now thirsty.

Came home to a house with not a single drop of water available (water as in plain water).

Couldn't bring myself to drive out again.

Opened a can of Coca Cola instead.

Lesson learnt: trying to quench thirst with Coca Cola is the idiotic equivalent of trying to wipe your a$$ with tin foil.

It is just NOT humanly possible. Probably one of those things that should be banned totally.

Now full, thirsty and 102 empty kcals richer. Bloated too.

And I haven't got to the caffeine part yet.

Tonight's gonna be a looooooong night.......

I'm OK

2010-04-06T01:11:00.003+08:00

David Tao had a song called 'I'm OK' from the album, uh, "I'm OK".

Funny thing is, the better part of the song was occupied by him going bonkers about how he was NOT OK at all.

Hmm.

Hypocrisy is the new black.

Anyway, feeling much better after hitting the mill. Although didn't really get to do much today - place was a little too crowded for comfort. Too many sweaty, grunting, panting men in one room does not go down well with my sense of security (I am ultra-sensitive to man-love). Or hygiene, as a matter of fact.

So today is more or less another day wasted in life. One of those which I shall look back one day and go like 'er, duh?' ya, you get the idea.

Whatever.

For now, at least, I'm OK.

Sooo not going to listen to David Tao tonight. Gonna stick to Wonder Girls' Nobody and Super Junior's Sorry Sorry for now.

Korean Popcrap never sounded so good.

........I want nobody, nobody but you *clap clap* woohoo~

--

2010-04-05T19:53:00.004+08:00

Thunderstorm brewing outside.

Still plastered to the comp.

Feeling like an utterly hopeless fucktard depressed double serving of Mcshit with fries and a Coke by the side. Make that a diet please thank you.

Need to pick up my bum that has already begin to grow roots into the couch and get going.

GET UP!!!

ORAIT DAMN IT *jesus!*

OK SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

........

Schizophrenia getting out of hand.

Now where did I last placed my...........

whatever.

I miss myself. And you and you and you.

Untitled

2010-04-05T18:34:00.002+08:00

Post call.

Feeling down today.

Somehow maybe possibly most likely due to the fact that my next call is looming not far away over the horizon.

The fact that a few new colleagues joined out team today didn't do much to brighten things up.

Need to find a way out.

Gloomy day. Not suitable for outing of any sort. Gonna just hide at home instead. Camera collecting dust in a corner like my current state of mind.

Astro not picking up signals, as usual. Bloody rip off.

Not having much thought bout the world. Enjoying being selfish for a change.

Although deep down

Miss having somebody to spend a cosy evening with.

So close, yet so far.

Oh well.

Gonna go run off my sorrows then.

See you around.

-n-

Ramblings of an On Call Mind

2010-04-04T17:12:00.003+08:00

Greetings from ward 6 Hosp Kajang.

EODing day 2.

Recovering from 15 hours of sleep (4pm -7am). Massive headache, still feeling groggy as hell.

Couldn't even muster the strength get up for my much-awaited evening run.

Cannot recall a single fleck of memory from yesterday's Dengue course. Felt like I wasn't there at all.

Oh ya, was there, remember the super-duper obscenely oily ayam masak merah watchamacallit. The thought of it still sends shudders down my spine.

Last meal - 18 hours ago. Hungry to the point of developing hypoglycemic symptoms but no appetite and mood to bother opening mouth.

Feeling like crap.

I hate on call T_T

Ohkay.

Phone ringing. Must be from ward 3.

Seeing that as of this very very moment nobody is dying/ wants to die/ deserves to die, most probably it's some patient's father's mother's brother's pasteur's cow's flea wanting to see the doctor-in-charge to find out 'makcik tu sekarang macam mana ha?'

Macam tu lo. Same like how she was when you asked 10 mins ago. Siiiiigh.

Put up a smile and face the world. Kami Sedia Membantu, yeh........

April Fooled

2010-04-01T23:01:00.003+08:00

I can't take it anymore.

I've got to let it out.

And it is with utmost sincerity that I hereby declared that I am truly, madly, deeply......

Gay.

And I love big, hairy, stinky old men.

......
...
..
.

Now that was a sucky one.

So, down to jokes and pranks.

Small, harmless gestures of jest and mischief with no malice at heart. Or is there? Oh, those are called lies.

Whatever.

In the spirit of April Fool's day, I'm doing a recap of some of the lamest and greatest cheatoz I've come across - being by experience, word of mouth or simply something scratched onto the public toilet door. Lies that tickle your funny bone or just slap you silly by the sheer lamitude of it.

Some might sound,er, ambiguous. Some might sound like the downright god damn truth. While some might sound as real as the flying pig that just buzzed by your 2nd floor window.

Oh wait, that's a lie.

Pigs don't fly.

They ride flying carpets.

Anyway, here goes.

5. I'm pregnant. Mbleerrgghhhhhpfff.

(Okay just to clarify things from the start this is NOT one of the personal experiences I mentioned beforehand thanksweetgod so go fly kite with your vivid imagination wtf)

A lame excuse some lowlife people love to use to avoid responsibility. Reserved exclusively for the womenkind althought few years down the road god knows what to expect wtf. Difficult to debunk especially during the 'early phase' as it is generally regarded as psycho to request for a UPT as 'proof of purchase 'more so from so called colleagues (yeah you know who you are itchy punanee). And the sucky part is when the fun dies out and the perpetrator risks being busted, she can always declare she had a 'missed abortion' and voila! All the troubles in the world flushed down the drain, imaginary fetus and all whatnot. And get extra sick leave for being oh-mai-gawd-so-poor-thing miscarriaged too. A difficult one, this is.

4. PM off. Bye-bye at 12pm post call

Damn you KKM. Damn you and your lies. PM off my hairy muffins. Still staying up till 5pm. 6pm sometimes if the Oww-Maii-Gawdd Princess goes MIA. So lame this one really wanna ROTFLMAOQWERTY. WTF.

3. Auntie cucuk sikit ya....tak sakit punyer....

Really! Tak sakit langsung! Macam semut gigit je.....too bad semut tu semut api besar giler gaban bodoh tu leh.....OOOOOOW OW OW OW MAK AKU SAKIIIIIIIIIIIIT VALIKIAMAHHH *pass out amidst Hindi music in the background and Selvarani rolling down the slope*

Lier. Pantat ko tak sakit.

2. I accidentally terminum Chlorox. Ooops *coy smile*

Eh adik. You think we bodoh or what. Typical lame excuse given by midnight admitees who claim to have 'accidentally drank the whole world's chlorox supply dry'. Like, you know, how she accidentally placed her chlorox next to her drinking water, on the computer desk, in her room, 10KM away from the washroom ( where whatyaknow the chlorox storage drawer was). Oh wait, you didn't notice how it tasted....so you took another gulp....and another.....and....? Oh-kaay....whatever.....GCS low at 3am......refer psy cm...Rx: two tight slaps 11/11 QID......

1. I Love You

Nuff said. All-time greatest truth and lie bundled into one convenient, simple-to-pronounce package. Choose what you want to believe.

Happy Valentine's day.

Oops.

Sorry.

Happy April Fool's day. Hope you had a good one.

That's a lie too.

Yawn~ tired. Post EOD day 1, Pre EOD day 1. Surrreeeaaaallll~~~

Now that's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Drunk

2010-03-31T21:22:00.004+08:00

Random Youtube-ing.

Watching the seconds tick by. No plans for tonight.

This shall be my reward, from myself, to myself, for myself.

Absolute isolation. Peace of mind.

Tanya Chua's 無底洞 (Bottomless Pit) playing in the background.

Next up : Kenny G's The Moment.

Tonight's a good night for Wet Wet Wet.

Maybe a Kiss From A Rose by Seal is worth a minute or three.

And to end it with a bang, Prodigy's Breathe always does the trick.

Love being post call.

Hey world,

Was that you who just flashed by?

Oh, yeah, well, you know........kinda wonky now, you know? Like, hahaha........hmm.....

Oh ya, EOD right? Yeah.....no biggie.......

Spontaneity is the word of the day.

No thought has been given to the fine trimmings of this post.

Consider this the raw, uncut, unrated Missing Mind.

Hey......waichaminute.....yeah, I kinda soound more decent than I thought I would, being drunk and all.....what the heck....

Hmm.

Just glad all work's done before leaving. Done, I hope. Dunno. Too blur to find out.

Here's to the on call people today.

Have a safe night k.

Zzzzzzzzzz

Zzzzzz

Zzzz

Zz

Z

...........................

Horror ARRRGGG!!!!!!!!

2010-03-29T20:56:00.005+08:00

The only reason I'm sharing this here is because I am scared shitless.

And I have not been this scared since watching 'It' with the lights off 18 years ago.

So here.

xxxxxx

Had a little scare at work today.

Yangon was complaining of a 'nagging, life-threatening, ass-ripping' pain over her left or right arm ( cannot remember coz didn't bother looking) following the H1N1 vaccine shot she took a few days earlier.

Associated with 'oedema of the palm' and ' neuroprexia of the cutaneous distribution of C7 to T1'. Yowzers.

Anyway.....

It was 510pm. In severe post call mode and not giving a damn about the world, lest the ward and whatever going-on's going on there.

Bumped into Yangon in the pantry. Brushed pass her to pick up whatever leftover there was before making my great escape to freedom.

'Teeeeeeeeeeeeh~~'

NO.

' Maaii haand iz sooww paaiinnfuuu~~............'

I DON"T CARE.

' u knooaaow, lasst taiimme I oso had saiime thing lidis befoourr, and I dowwnt knooaow, like blahblahgebegebewilliwillibangbangwonkidonkichiangchiangoldnewspaperwoooo...........................................'

BLANK STARE INTO BEYOND.

'Annd then, yoouw knooaow, I havvee allerrgeee to thiis and thhat and williwilliwonkablamgushslipslapslopchoochoodingdongmeowoof.................................'

START ERRATIC PACING AROUND, TRYING TO CONTAIN SANITY.

'Can yoouuww see arr here here here all swaoolleenn oohh...whaaii you walkin around soo muuchh cannot see llaaa...........'

THAT'S MY WHOLE EFFING POINT.

'.....I cannoot see youur face laaa.......'

STOP DEAD. GAVE MY BEST RENDITION OF ' I DON"T GIVE TWO EFFS' FACE.

As light as a.....feather? She gave a light push on my chest and said (?coyly)....

' it's okaaaayy....I knoaow you're nervousss....... :)'

And as fleeting as a ?butterfly she fluttered off in a burst of song and waving body parts.

NO EFFING WAY. NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

DARLING

READ THE FACE AGAIN.

THAT'S NAUSEAOUS. N-A-U-S-E-A-O-U-S.

DIG?

NERVOUS MY ASS.

My day just got destroyed. Now I'm breaking a cold sweat and having goosebumps all over. Think I'm running a fever too.

Considering EL tomorrow. Need to see a shrink.

The horror...........

Doggy Style 2.0

2010-03-29T20:32:00.002+08:00

A few more doggy style pics.

Woof.

'Fooood!!!'

Chocolate....... :(

Woof.

Lfe is 2 shrt

2010-03-28T01:28:00.002+08:00

Just came back from yamcha with high school buddies.

Everybody has grown up so much.

Each of them now successful in their own right.

And each having a personal story to tell.

Learnt how one of them lost both his sister and father back-to-back within almost the same year.

Sister to a ruptured ectopic pregnancy; dad to cancer (I think)

Felt infinitely sorry for his loss.

At awe at his resilience in standing up against such odds and persevered to become the success story that he is today.

The time to live is now, that's the motto he lives by nowadays.

No point pondering about the future when all that we hold dear can be lost forever in a split of a second.

Life is too short.

No time to wait.

There's a saying - Life starts at 40.

I say, why take the chance?

The time to live, is now.

Sit back, hold tight, and enjoy the ride.

Doggy Style

2010-03-27T14:33:00.002+08:00

Refuse to talk bout work today.

Finally one pathetic weekend off after god knows how many weeks of slave labor. Bleerrggh.

Not to mention playing vampire again on behalf of you-know-who who decided to go MIA on her very own terms half way through the day.

Oh snap, just rambled bout work again. My bad.

Today shall be Doggy day.

A four legged tribute to cuddliness.

Enough with the words. Let the pictures do the talking.

Wooof.

Wooof.

Old man syndrome

2010-03-25T00:59:00.004+08:00

Back from hitting the mill.

Panting like a dog. Smell like one too.

Feeling slighty better than just now. Not exactly energized, though. Something's still missing.

Oh ya, its my iPhone/ iPod WTF. :(

Running without Prodigy on was painful. Without the music to pace myself to I find myself losing momentum and breath at a much faster rate than before. Britney Spears crooning ' Baby One More Time..' over the stereo doesn't help this one effing bit.

Didn't manage to cover much ground today -barely hitting a few km before the fatigue got to me. Feeling like an old man inside out. Just notice my hairline is receding and losing density at an alarming rate.

Damn it being old at 26 is bad enough; being old AND hairless is just effin pathetic.

I really should consider this BaWang thingy I saw at KK mart that day. Wonder if it really works. Not exactly sure I want a hairdo like Jacky Chan though. Hmmm decisions decisions.....

I need my music back.

Or at least a stupid phone for the time being.

On call tomorrow. Without a phone muahahaha.

I sooo can see this coming - Pt GM 100 s/c actrapid 500 unit stat given. Dr Teh noted, uncontactable x 1,000,000 WTF.

I foresee a really bad day ahead.

Pray for me if you ever want to read anything new here ever again.

FML

Run

2010-03-24T20:29:00.004+08:00

Left work at 6 today.

Had to cover for an insufferable-excuse-of-a-houseman who blatantly decided that she shall NOT be taking any 6pm bloods for her cubicle's patients even thought boss explicitly ordered all of us to do so.

Ended up playing vampire on her behalf so that Belle won't end up with deep fried ass for dinner tonight. Poor thing.

Still miss my phone. Forgot how many times today when I reached into my pocket for my phone only to find the cold emptiness greeting my hand. Sigh.

Well, at least no pharmacists to hound me for improper prescriptions today.

Feeling abit low today. Tried to have a hearty dinner but the waitress forgot two out of the four items I ordered so feeling kinda half empty now.

Somehow coming down with this feeling that the world is out to get me or something. If there is a god I can surely say that I'm not exactly his favorite person on earth right now I guess.

Another Chinese auntie passed away in the ward today. Terminally ill patient who came in with one leg already into the coffin. CPRed for 10 minutes before the family gave us the greenlight to stop. ' Don't add to her suffering,' her son said. Solemnly stepped down from the bed so that they could say their final goodbyes. Felt like shit - mainly because I felt absolutely nothing. Just another passing on to scratch down the notch. Another death summary to do. Hoo- Hum.

I'm losing my humanity. Fangs and tiny horns are starting to sprout out of my head and the last time I checked I'm growing a forked tail.

I need to run. Run away from this condition that's consuming me.

Well I guess running away from work isn't exactly practical or ethically acceptable now in view of the current workforce shortage so........ah darn.

I guess I'll just have to stick to running on the mill for now.

Hope that at speed 10 my soul can break free from this earthly form it has been entrapped in, and disembark on an epic journey to find true happiness in the far beyond.

Gonna hit the threadmill now.

See you at 11pm. Godspeed with you, and me.

A snatch thief a day keeps the Apple away

2010-03-23T19:56:00.003+08:00

Phone got snatched at Sg. Chua.

Malay male motorcyclist in a red jacket plate number WTH ???? couldn't catch the full number in time.

Sad.

Very sad.

Very very fucking unbelievably grief-strickenly arse-rippingly sad.

New phone leh. Only one half month old ler. RM2500 ler.

Sigh.

So much for trying to make a change for the better.

I guess making a change to be a better person doesn't mean shit if the rest of the world is happy with it's own selfish evil self.

So there.

No more doing good for the sake of mankind.

Coz frankly, mankind is not worth being done good for.

人性本恶....

Ren Xing Ben Er - Chinese saying which roughly translates to ' man is evil by nature'.

Guess I'm a believer now.

No more love for the banduan-banduans at the back cubicles from now on. Especially if their incarceration has got anything to do with theft.

Damn you snatch thief.

Hope that on your getaway you will crash into this huge lorry and get stuck under the wheels and get dragged a good few hundred yards while painting the tarmac red with your guts and all you can do is cry cry and cry...........

Yeah. Reading about that in the news tomorrow will really make my day.

Reflection

2010-03-23T00:15:00.006+08:00

Still raining non stop.

Back from hitting the gym. Nothing beats sweating it out on the threadmill to Prodigy's Breath/ Firestarter/ Smack My Bitch Up.

Thupa-Thump-Thump of the bass synchronizing with every forceful beat of my heart, ejecting pulse after pulse of the lifestream across my body.

I feel alive. As always after a good run.

If only the chaotic orchestra that is the flashing lights and irate beepings of the cardiac monitors/ SP02 machines/ Ventilators/ Infusion pumps whatchamacallit could induce the same kind of adrenaline rush as what I experience back on the mill. Somehow it's such an irony that I don't experience the same 'fight or flight' response when theoretically I should be at an all time high ie. actively resuscitating patients/ running for the intubation set/ setting an emergency line etc etc. Most of the time I'd either be like 'oh, dang'/ 'er, staff nurse, patient mane yer?'/ doing my best Moose impersonation down to the very last 'Du-uh??'.

I think my adrenaline delivery system is a little haywired. Or maybe my brain's just fried. Wrong reactions to wrong signals. If I were a dog and Pavlov were to ring his bell, I would probably start leaking body fluids all over the floor, albeit most probably from other more embarrassing sources.

It's not that I don't care. I guess I'm just blase with the whole dying thing. Being surrounded by too much death and decay is literally eating away at my soul. And my humanity I think.

Felt absolutely shite at work today. Involuntarily grumbled a bit when the Specialist ordered ten thousand investigations and scans and taps and whatnot for all patients in my cubicle. Six patients only but it felt like I might as well had sixty. Somehow managed to complete most of the chores with a long face by 430pm. Had a little incident at work before off duty (refer to previous post).

Reflecting on today's work attitude.

When was the last time I did something truly for the benefit and well-being of my patients, for the sake of them achieving what they initially came here for - to be treated and cured of what ails them? When was the last time I've actually set an IV line with the sincere wish that my patient will receive her medication on time? Or the last time I called the Psy MO to refer a case stat so that my patient's suffering can be alleviated as soon as possible?

Shame.

Patients have become like a personal dartboard; each successful branula is another bullseye notched down on an imaginary score card. And each successful referral is another successful early discharge so that I can kick back and goyang my kakies earlier in the day.

What have I become??

Gotta get back in touch with myself.

Being the not-so-ambitious person that I am, I shall not dare resolute to making too drastic a change in too short a time. Saying that I shall hence forth treat each and every single patient like I would my own flesh and blood from this very second on, is just total bollocks. I'll just start off with trying not to hate my job from today on. Actually, well, I love my job. I just hate the way I have to carry it out. So there.

Here's hoping tomorrow will be a better day. If not for me, at least for the chubby popeye-armed Makciks residing in lil' cubicle 4 Wad 3 Hospital Kajang.

Anyway, gotta work on the iPod playlist - Air Supply's All Out Of Love coming up suddenly at speed 10 on the threadmill does wonders at throwing you off beat and, god forbid, off balance - all this which could result in a massive 'thud' followed by lots of blood spurting all over the place. Not nice.

Good night.

Pushover

2010-03-22T19:48:00.003+08:00

Witnessed the full fury of Yangon at work today.

Rendered utterly speechless by her impossibly impossible sense of self-centeredness.

The stage:
Medical ward 3, Hosp Kajang

The backdrop:
Late noon, temp 35C and rising. Piledriver at work fixing the toilet pipings, patients moaning in pain/ ?ecstasy, staff nurses going ga-ga over the latest tudung fashion. In short, a total effing cacophonous mess.

The players:
Belle, sweet overworked but underpaid medical HO with a penchant for piercings and all things porky

Yangon, underworked but overpaid chirpy dimwitted aoooww-maaii-gaawwddness princess, Malaysia's latest import from the People's Dictatorial Hell of Burma/Myanmar/ whatever Chulalongkorn's sweet buns may call it

Me, the background extra

The epic:
Belle calling MO P to clarify orders for patient so-and-so.

Yangon chirping away in front of the phone.

Belle receiving orders at M16 speed from said MO.

Yangon still chirping away at heightened intensity.

Belle having a hard time picking up orders through the phone amidst the chaos.

Yangon still chirping away feverishly at full force, complete with hands-in-the-air dance moves, contorted facial expressions and a partridge and a pear tree.

Belle lost it. 'Shuush, I can't hear!'

..............

Blank stare. No more chirping. No more cooing. It's as if someone suddely snapped the Duracells out of Yangon and she just fell dead silent.

And then.

'(emulating bitchy chirpy confusing tone)Now can you hear?? If cannot why not you bring the phone to the back room talk there???' Followed by princess stomps off into the great beyond.

Mind you - it was a landline phone we're talking about. With a really short cord. And the dude on the other end was more or less Boss figure or something.

Poor Belle. Caught off guard left her in a wide-eyed dazed state one only gets when, well, one gets barked at by a chirpy dimwitted aoooww-maaii-gaawwddness princess. Er, aaii doowwnnt kknnooaaooww....

The nerves.

Yes, this Yangon, she's many things - annoying, airhead, downright clueless - but being the chirpy dimwitted aoooww-maaii-gaawwddness princess that she is, I never really came to expect her to ever snap back with ferocity (read: bitchiness) of such magnitude.

Especially not when she's only been here for like, what, 2 weeks or so?

Not to mention she doing this to one of the only few people who actually bothers giving a petty fuck about her existence.

Seriously, does the Dictatorial Military Government of Burma teach such stuff at school or something??

I don't know.

Poor Belle. Didn't even had a chance to retaliate. Probably didn't want to,either. 'I'm such a pushover,' she sighed.

Felt sorry for her. That for standing up for her and taking her shit while she woefully flutters off to God-knows-where all the time. Presumably to recharge her batteries to keep her chirp o' meter at maximum strength.

Sigh.

This is war, girl.

You brought this upon yourself. Pissing off the only person who bothered trying to be there for you.

Now let's see how you fare on your own.

Good luck, and good riddance.

Aawww mmmaaaiii gaaaaooooawwwddd......

Wet wet wet

2010-03-21T23:11:00.003+08:00

Raining non stop.

Weather forecasts predict an entire week of thunderstorms over Klang Valley.

Listening to Wet Wet Wet's Somewhere, Somehow.

Couldn't find a more apt song to match the current weather.

A steaming hot cuppa and some Go-Nippon-Yamete-Don Cup noodles is all that's keeping me away from insta-heaven.

Sorry yogurt dear; it's not you, it's the weather.

Snap back to reality at the thought of work tomorrow.

Won't take a rocket scientist to figure out what this weather will do to the AEBA and AECOAD admission rates.

Siiiiiiigh.......

I love my job.

I just hate the way I have to carry it out.

Shucks.

Oh well, no point letting the nice midnight shower breeze go to waste.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Ramblings of a pre and postcall mind

2010-03-14T00:22:00.002+08:00

Enjoying the surreal experience of being both post AND precall on the same day.

Counting down the hours before the insufferable alarm clocks goes off and another grueling day begins.

Marching through the Halls of Death ala ward 2, 5cc syringe with attached green needle in one hand; alcohol swab, cotton ball n impromptu-glove-turned-tourniquet in the other.

Sadistic grin plastered all over face from cheek to cheek.

Through clenched teeth, squeezing out the same monotonous 'Sori cik kena ambik darah lagi nak check sikit maap yer sakit sikit macam semut gigit aje too bad semut api too muahahaha sucker....'

......
....
...
..
.

I think I'll make a pretty good mosquito in my afterlife.

Heck, make me a flea or whatever. At least no branula setting will be required for blood taking.

............
......
...
..
.

Okay this is the part where I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.

Time to tuck in.

Peace.

Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

Ma humps

2010-03-11T23:51:00.001+08:00

Woooo......

Big humps.

Me likey......

.......

Aooww Maaaiii Gaaawwddd......

Losing it

2010-03-10T19:18:00.003+08:00

OWW MAAII GAAWWDD I DOOWWNN"TT KNNNOOWW YOOUU KNOOOWWW!!????!!?!!

...........
........
.....
...
..
.

There.

Feeling much better.

Uuph.....

I'm such a bad person.

I don't know.

You know??

Oww maaii gaaawd.......

Nippon Go Cup Noodles Yamete-do!!!

2010-03-02T23:44:00.003+08:00

Midnight hunger pangs ahoy...

Out of yogurt. Not good.

Gotta look abit more East for help now...

Well, leave it to the Japanese to come up with a solution for all matters big and small, hunger pangs not aside.

ジャパンカップヌードル！

5 minute insta-tummy-filling-honest-to-goodness-Sweet Yamete Japanese goodness Cup Noodles!!!

Miso flavored soup with udon-ramen hybrid noodles. Yum.

And, and......

See da gummy tofu looking thingy there?

It's a gummy tofu looking thingy.

Chewy, sticky, yummy.

500 kilocals of pure Japanese grastonomical sin.

Now I'm satisfied.

And I can't sleep with a full stomach.

On call tomorrow.

Oh noooooo...............

Turning Point

2010-02-27T23:40:00.003+08:00

Tough decision.

Made worse by the fact that circumstances are way beyond my grasp and control.

Stay, and try to fit in

or

Leave, and make a leap of faith into uncertainty?

Crisis looms ahead.

'Tis a tough year gonna be....

Keep your Fucking trap shut

2010-01-28T17:44:00.003+08:00

In the wake of a recent series of unfortunate events unfolding at the workplace, the powers-that-be have had a little sit-down behind closed doors to reflect on the situation and ' learn from the mistakes', so to speak.

Unfortunately, most of the time 'learning from mistakes' is exactly the agenda missing from such meetings.

It is always so easy and convenient to point the finger and cast the blame in a retrospective manner coz, well, what's done is done.

Sometimes it's human error. Sometimes it's just wrong timing. And sometimes, most of the time, it's just what people call an Act of God.

In English, that means Shit Happens.

Yeah, shit does happen. In our line, shit happens in truckloads.

Most, if not all of us have at one point or another experienced some means of so called acts of God during our not-so-long career. Some can be just a petty nuisance like a speedbump on the driveway while others can be so life-changing it carves a permanent scar on your track record and leaves your wetting your bed at night.

At times like these, everybody deserves a shoulder to cry on. It does not matter who's fault it is. There is no role for shame and blame. Learn from the mistakes, survive the trauma and carry on with life as a better person.

As for those who are genetically incapable of showing empathy, or just genuinely think they are better than others....Silence is golden.

There is no need to add insult to injury.

Just because today you stand tall while others fall doesn't mean that's where you'll always be. Frankly, it doesn't mean shit.

What goes around does come around.

Know when to keep your fucking trap shut and maybe, just maybe, the next time when it is your turn to fall, some kind soul will still be around to offer you solace.

May your god have mercy on you for what you did.

Come to think of it, it is people like you that prove god does not exist. I mean, if he were god, how could he fuck up so bad by creating you in the first place? Damn.

Malacca: Food Porn

2010-01-25T02:19:00.003+08:00

Malacca.

Good food abound - if you know where to look, that is.

A good example of style over substance - Famosa Chicken Rice....

Looks great, tastes so-so...

Famosa Ball Chicken Rice

Chicken rice balls

Roasted Chicken

Roasted Pork

Steamed fish otak-otak

Preserved sour veggie

Quality certainly not really up to par....what a shame.

The chicken rice outlets over at Jonker Street offer a much more authentic ball rice experience....

Malacca: Played - a - Live

2010-01-24T20:51:00.004+08:00

Malacca.

Colonial grandeur, Old town charm and New world chaos resonating in perfect harmony...

An elderly gentleman serenading the ghosts of Malacca past in the remains of the A Famosa fort

Street performers breaking the silence

A token of appreciation

Let the music heal your soul.......

Big Apple

2010-01-21T01:28:00.002+08:00

Hmmmm.

Sweeet......... :)

Happy New Year...

2010-01-06T00:00:00.001+08:00

Not too bad a start.

Things are definitely looking up...

Happy New Year.

:)